I am a quintessential optimistic loser. Just trying to change the loser part....

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Thanksgiving Break

Well, I had expected to blog everyday, atleast every two days ish just to keep up, but i got lazy, and tired as fuck. So now I'm going to do a quick run through.

First couple of days- ie sunday through monday ish

Chilled with James, caught up with alot of shit. He pisses me off sometimes, but hes gunna be a homey for life.
Also hung out with Supum and Mark, been awhile since we've done that. Played some CoD, Marvel Alliance, and brought it back old-school when i whipped out my N64. Got our SSB on, and as usual I rocked.

Pics? Not as many as i thought there would be. Why? Keep reading

Dudes got a nice nissan....

Target... Look at him matching

Havin some old fun at Hmart-
Soju man: Inside joke....

Korean resturant, not bad, but they cant spell. Blood became bllod


he looks so sweaty



In hmart


No homo: Me left, james right


I went to see a movie with my baby... Dont really remember how most of the movie went. Hehehe. Couples Retreat is basically Shes just not that into you minus a million. That movie was the shit. Scarlett Johansen... YES

Then went to the mall, and spent 60 dollars on a brush set for her. Didnt know brushes were that fucking expensive. Kinda blows my mind. But w.e

Marias Bday/ Thanksgiving. Didnt take any pics, too busy just catchin up with people. Havent seen Xiao since forever. Hes a big guy now, always workin and travelling. Havent seen Ashley in awhile either. Shes a sophmore or junior at gt, i forgot. Anyways, Ive missed the fam, it was good to catch up. Ashley joked that now there were 3 dancers in our family. Her, Maria, and Me. She just started dancing, atleast seriosly. Some director thing in her sorority.

Friday- Black Friday! So the story is that the night before, well more like 2 in the morning on thursday, I was talking to by girl on Skype. I use a regular desktop, dell, got it a few years ago, not too bad, got a video card upgrade. And I got a bad ass monitory, Samsung wide screen. So that night, all of a sudden, my fucking monitor blows on me. Like just out. Ionno why, but i tried different sockets, didnt work, replaced the power cable with another, didnt work. Fuck it. Next morning I'm at best buy, gunna buy a new monitor on black friday. And I go in, and guess what i come out with?

Yea sucka! (Btw thats me typin up this blog :P)

Looks better in hq, but my camera isnt that great.

Party at Xiao's, ash didnt make it, but Fan did. Fan is Xiaos old friend, they were roomates in GT, and he lives like 2 minutes from Xiao's. The both old as hell, almost 30. But yea a new big bro. We went to Fans house cuz all the kids were playin games on Xiao's tv. We watched the GT UGA game. Bey bey Thomas.... no comment.

Today, just gunna be practicing, getting some work done.

Thanksgiving to me is about just enjoying some of the finer things in life. I've never been one to be like oh give thanks this give thanks that on thanksgiving. I dont need a holiday to be thankful for what i have in life. I do that everyday. Everyday, i just imagine, if i didnt have the people that i do in my life, where would i be. If i had never met Christina, would I have discovered my passion for dancing. If my parents had never given me the lenience to further myself as a person, would i have developed? If I had never met Anny, would my life be as full of passion and motivation as i do now? Just, so much stuff to think about, so many people to thank, it doesnt take one day. It takes a lifetime to be thankful for everything you've got.

So hope everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving, cuz its time to lose all that weight. I gained 5 pounds when I was trying to lose weight. Time to exercise more and watch what i eat. SMH......

Monday, November 23, 2009


So my dancing is doin horribly. I'm starting to slip. I'm getting lazy, and I'm just not doin so well. Its like I go through these phases where I just completely lose my style and my abilities. I dont know. Its just so damn frustrating when I cant dance. I hate it. It makes me feel like I'm stuck inside a box, and I just cant get out. I want to scream. It makes me feel inadequate, and it makes me feel insignificant. That coupled with me struggling with trying to lose weight. Its pissing me off.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Almost T-giving break!

So these last two days before Thanksgiving Break are gunna be a sunovabitch. I'm currently halfway through day 1. I didnt get to print my damn tshirt in graph arts, i was gunna wear it to class today.

Class.... what to say. I need to focus more on teaching rather than just showing them what to do. I wanna nurture some real dancers out of that group. Idc if Mr. Wei doesnt like it, thats my ultimate goal. And get paid. Definately.... Cuz God knows I need some new shoes. I think I might get some this weekend. Maybe some Vans. Somethin canvas, somethin simple and nice.

I've been feelin a bit romantic lately. Dunno why, but i guess its just that need for companionship.

Continuing on the last two days....
Then I gotta finish my research paper, and then turn it in tomorrow. Then I'm free. Gunna go to the mall Friday, get something for my girl, maybe somethin for myself if budget allows, and then DANCE. Choreography has been my strongpoint lately, but its been awhile since I've got a session down. Also I wanna get a collab thing goin on.... But yea i'll update later, lunch bell just rang, gotta go!

Stay Safe!

So, when I should be working and finishing my research paper, I'm online blogging. Thats just what I need. But I need somewhere to vent and rant. Its 2:40 in the freakin morning....

Anyways, todays class went pretty well. I think it was different. I really connected with the people, and I think I inspired a few people for a few hours... which is enough to keep me going. I think I've found my stride in terms of teaching. Lead by example, but make sure they get room for creativity. Theres some real dancers brewing in my class. I feel like dancing right now has become more of way for me to relax and to truly connect with music on a different level. Like sure, I can go boogaloo on everyone, get into locking, do some toprock, but in the end, I just wanna move the way I wanna move to any music thats on. Thats it. The fact that I'm getting paid to teach people what I love doing simply astounds me. Like, I never would of thought I'd get anywhere with dance, much less a job. But its only the beginning. Like I said, I'm gettin paid junk, but I couldnt care less. I'm doing what I love. Thats more than enough pay.

Anyways tomorrow, thinking about sessioning with James if hes got time. Its gunna be hella akward. Then maybe I might hit the mall, just go around, see whats there. Who knows. But I miss my girl. Damn I miss her. This break is gunna be a good one, I just know it.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

You ever feel....?

You ever felt incompetent? Like for some reason you're just not good enough?
I've been kinda feeling like that lately. My job isnt payin too well, I feel under valued.
I'm starting to realize the kind of scrub I am compared to her ex's....
I feel like sometimes I'm just not the son my parents had hoped for.

I guess I'm in one of those bumps in life. Or maybe I'm just tired, and I'm kinda hoping Thanksgiving break would roll around faster.
LIke seriously, all the teachers been crammin our asses full of exams, projects, homework, all this shit. On top of all that I got a research paper due Friday that will make or break my grade.

So recently I reconnected with a friend of mine. James.
You ever met one of those egotistical sons of bitches that you dont see how you became friends with? Yea thats him
What I've come to realize is that we are friends because we sort of provide a balance to each others lives. I sort of keep him at bay so that his ego doesnt blow up the planet, and he gives me a lil bit of confidence to do the things I do. Or maybe its just I appreciate some of the insight hes given to me in life, and I just feel like I owe him something... --;

ANYWAYS! Back to the story. We actually sorta lost tough after I started dating Anny. The story is that it was the Sprayberry homecoming, and James brought my girlfriend (not at the time) to the homecoming. He had met her at AWA, and they went on a few dates before I think. Now at this time, James actually has a girlfriend that he really likes. Love probably.... But he takes Anny to the Sprayberry homecoming. I think I was the only one other than Anny who knew that he still had a girl at the time. Actually nevermind, all of us knew. So I have no idea why none of us brought it up. So Anny obviously feels weird, because James has a girlfriend whos in New Jersey. So she doesnt dance with him, sort of ignores him. The first time she dances, is with me, and that was a slow dance. I was just standing off to the side, just slow dancing by myself cause I'm cool, and she just grabs me and starts dancing with me. That kind situation kept up the entire night, where she just pretty much talks to me. Maybe its because we are both Chinese? Ionno. After maybe a week or 2 after that, I ask her out, we date, relationship. yea. And James feels betrayed. In a sense I cant blame him, but hes such a damn hypocrite. He was tellin me how I had told him I loved my ex so much. And I didnt wanna even go into our relationship problems, because I thought that was off limits. And he pulled that shit out on me, and I flipped. I was like, dawg, you had a girlfriend, and you went on a date with another girl, EXPECTING something out of it. So yea. Thats the story. Congrats if you read it all

Anyways, I'm considering whether i should go dance with him today, or focus on this last week..... I think I'm gunna focus on this last week

So 2 things occured in this blog entry. I have showed my insecurity. And I've told the story of how I met my girlfriend.

Good bye, and stay safe.

Saturday, November 14, 2009


So I've really been into Kpop lately, life seriously, I'm on allkpop.com all day, even during class. This trend with kpop using electronica is suprisingly catchy. All the Americans are getting tired of the whole like Tpain shit and autotune, and even Jay-z had to step up and take that shit down.
But Korea is thriving on this. Girl groups poppin up everywhere, Rainbow just debuted, even Nam Hyun Joon has his own group that debuted like yesterday on music bank. Course it sucked, just like everything else NHJ has done other than dancing....
Its catchy, and i think Korea's idol system is alot different than america's. Not better, just different :P

Yea I like it better

But anyways, been keeping up with dancing, need to meet up with some people and session soon and show off some choreography. Its been too long, but school has just been tough. Today in phsychology, we took stress tests, and i scored a 460, which is 310 points higher than danger zone. 150 is where theres a 50-60 percent chance of change in your health.... and i scored a 460. Kind of depressing. Anyways!

Tomorrow, or rather today, I'm gunna go see my girl, watch some office, drink some coffee.... Then its lil Ray Ray's bday! Havent seen the Chinese fam in ages, it be cool to see some of em again. Too bad Xiao and Ash cant make it though, but I'll see em soon.

Good night everyone! Stay safe!

Thursday, November 12, 2009


List of decisions

What should I get Kerry for his bday: (6 year old)
What to do about school
Vlados now or wait for Supras. I can get Supras with next paycheck.....
Should I get a new peacoat?
Should I catch up with my ex over Thanksgiving break?
Do I even wanna drive out a good hour or so for a 6 year olds bday? (yes)
Where to find time to get my gift for Anny....

So many decisions. So many possibilities.
One day at a time. One day at a time

And I'm making a tshirt for graph arts like tomorrow or something. Already got the design. Black and white: ( I (heart) TOYS) suckass.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009


So I'm at lunch right now, just mulling things over and reading some blogs.

And I started to wonder, what kind of life to I want in the future. Do I want a 9 to 5 job, wife and kids? Do I wanna travel the world and be a rockstar (if i have the talent). I want a balance. I wanna be able to travel the world quietly. I wanna have that sense of not being just one of those rockstars. I wanna be respected in what I do (dancing), and for that I wanna be able to travel the world. When I mean world, I dont mean exotic, but just to meet new people and absorb a lil culture. I dont mind not having a fast paced life. I actually want the opposite. I want an exciting life, but a quiet one. Teachin classes, performing, workshops. A dancers life doesnt have to be all glam. It can be one of just being respected, and having fun with what you do with life.

Anywaysssssss. So I found out I have alot more shit for school than I thought. Tomorrow is WEB, so I get a lil more time to catch up with school work and make up some shit. Class thursday, and I still gotta work on my lit video project due thursday, and I still gotta personal shit to take care of.....

Stay safe!

Monday, November 9, 2009

Update? Long Week Ahead

So last week my class was a pretty good success. Overall the kids follow choreography well, even if their basics are down in the dumps. I blame the teacher before me ><

This week.... what do I have on my checklist this week

Research paper for lit. God I hate that class. I've never gotten below an A in lit, then all of a sudden I'm failing that shit.

Class this Thursday. I'm debating whether to teach them basic breaking, if i even qualify to teach breaking for that matter. But I really wanna give em some of that old school shit, you know, rock steady, boogaloo, lockers, rather than just that conventional hip hop they are used to.

Catch up on sleep. I have this thing where i need atleast 10 hours of sleep one night a week. But so far its been a good 3 weeks since I've gotten atleast one night of 10 hours of sleep.

Study for my classes in general. Last stretch. Gotta work hard

Lit group project. This bitch is so damn tough. A research paper thats like worth 8 times, and a video project. Its ridiculous

Finally, I gotta get together my one month gift for Anny. Its gunna take alooot of time and alot of effort. But like I told her. Shes worth every dollar from my wallet, every particle of energy, every brainwave used, and every hour of sleep lost. Shes worth it.

Anyways, this week its gunna be kinda lonely. Shes got a ton of stuff, wont go into that.

"If even God had problems dealing with his children, Adam and Eve, how do you expect to do better as a father?"
My dad should take a page from Bill Cosby....

I've really been getting into Community Channel. Natalie Nguyen is the coolest person ever. Hands down. She talks about stuff all of us can relate to. And she makes it funny. And in some weird, creepy way, shes really attractive....

Wish me luck on a hectic week.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

My First Class

Tonight is my first class.... Wish me luck!
I'll post some photos tonight if I get a chance. But yea I'm really excited.

Wish I had my special someone with me there though..... I miss her

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

The World is Mine for the Takin

"The world is mine for the taking, make me king."

Eminem said that once, and I think that really struck a chord with me. Lately I've been thinkin about my dream to be a dancer. I remember when I started, it was just to be cool. Lookin back on that, I'm slightly regretful that I didnt take it seriously til i met a girl that i loved. But thats over, and now its become my life. I recently (today) got a job as a dance teacher at a Chinese dance school my friend goes to. This is such a big step for me. With ABDC and all those dance shows around, dancing has become something anyone can appreciate. But then theres the predicament. Do I want to teach others and spread my knowledge? Or do I wanna hog it and become the best.
Thats when I realized that its not about bein the best in world, but bein the best dancer I can be. I found a new interpretation for that quote. The world is mine for the taking. I am the world. I am my own world. I need to conquer myself, and that is honestly the most I can do for myself and the world. And I owe it to the world to give back what it has given to me.

Also I've reconciliated with my ex. I've accepted it. And I'm movin on with life.

Deep, right?

Cant wait til Thursday, first class! I'll upload some pictures.... I'm debating whether I should do choreography for Lollipop- Big Bang ft 2NE1, or Uptown- Drake ft Bun B and Lil Wayne.....

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Halloween Weekend

So this halloween weekend was kind of uneventful in terms of parties. I hit up one party, and since i promised Anny I wouldnt smoke, drink, or get high. So it wasnt anything too fun.... Anyways!

Thursday, I attended the first rehearsal thing for Anny's one act play competition. Shes a drama kid, so it was fun. I'm not much of a theater person, but this was a fun experience. Their play was called: "Neighborhood 3: Requisition of Doom". Long story short, dont let your kids play scary video games...

The stage

Friday, I sorta just got home and chilled. The weather is terrible. I know that its like a change of scene from our usual sun filled days, but its starting to annoy people. But ionno, I kinda like it...

Saturday (Halloween) I went to go see the one act competition that their drama kids entered. Hillgrove placed 2nd, and the actress in their group that i liked the most got overall best actress. Sooooo kind of an exciting day. Ionno I feel like I've been hooked, and for some weird reason I felt proud of them. The thing about a one act play competition is that not only do they judge on how well you act, but also on a time. 55 minutes is the limit, and on Thursday when I saw em they were over, but saturday it was picture perfect. Even though they got 2nd, you could tell they were the crowd favorite.

In my car. Cleaned it out on Friday, its soooo nice now ><

Fresh much? I need to cop a pair of Societies when i get paid

Middle of freakin nowhere. Seriously, if you gave me a map of GA, I do not know where the hell i am...\

The stage.... Smaller, but it was to their advantage, not as much echo, so you could hear them better.

My Anny... so pretty

So today, I've just been chillin, doin some hw, had dumplings for dinner... Yep lazy Sundays are the best.

Stay safe!