I am a quintessential optimistic loser. Just trying to change the loser part....

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

You ever feel....?

You ever felt incompetent? Like for some reason you're just not good enough?
I've been kinda feeling like that lately. My job isnt payin too well, I feel under valued.
I'm starting to realize the kind of scrub I am compared to her ex's....
I feel like sometimes I'm just not the son my parents had hoped for.

I guess I'm in one of those bumps in life. Or maybe I'm just tired, and I'm kinda hoping Thanksgiving break would roll around faster.
LIke seriously, all the teachers been crammin our asses full of exams, projects, homework, all this shit. On top of all that I got a research paper due Friday that will make or break my grade.

So recently I reconnected with a friend of mine. James.
You ever met one of those egotistical sons of bitches that you dont see how you became friends with? Yea thats him
What I've come to realize is that we are friends because we sort of provide a balance to each others lives. I sort of keep him at bay so that his ego doesnt blow up the planet, and he gives me a lil bit of confidence to do the things I do. Or maybe its just I appreciate some of the insight hes given to me in life, and I just feel like I owe him something... --;

ANYWAYS! Back to the story. We actually sorta lost tough after I started dating Anny. The story is that it was the Sprayberry homecoming, and James brought my girlfriend (not at the time) to the homecoming. He had met her at AWA, and they went on a few dates before I think. Now at this time, James actually has a girlfriend that he really likes. Love probably.... But he takes Anny to the Sprayberry homecoming. I think I was the only one other than Anny who knew that he still had a girl at the time. Actually nevermind, all of us knew. So I have no idea why none of us brought it up. So Anny obviously feels weird, because James has a girlfriend whos in New Jersey. So she doesnt dance with him, sort of ignores him. The first time she dances, is with me, and that was a slow dance. I was just standing off to the side, just slow dancing by myself cause I'm cool, and she just grabs me and starts dancing with me. That kind situation kept up the entire night, where she just pretty much talks to me. Maybe its because we are both Chinese? Ionno. After maybe a week or 2 after that, I ask her out, we date, relationship. yea. And James feels betrayed. In a sense I cant blame him, but hes such a damn hypocrite. He was tellin me how I had told him I loved my ex so much. And I didnt wanna even go into our relationship problems, because I thought that was off limits. And he pulled that shit out on me, and I flipped. I was like, dawg, you had a girlfriend, and you went on a date with another girl, EXPECTING something out of it. So yea. Thats the story. Congrats if you read it all

Anyways, I'm considering whether i should go dance with him today, or focus on this last week..... I think I'm gunna focus on this last week

So 2 things occured in this blog entry. I have showed my insecurity. And I've told the story of how I met my girlfriend.

Good bye, and stay safe.

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